Returning to School

Returning to school can be a pain, painful process after you have a long break. Or even after a short break, like spring break or Christmas break. After spending two weeks watching Netflix, playing Pokemon until my eyes were sore and my team reached level 100 (Okay, Venasaur is a level 89 but he'll be there soon), and being completely antisocial, I was clearly not ready to go back to school.

I suppose you could say my break was rough. My (now ex) girlfriend-- who I liked for so long-- broke up with me after only a month of dating, I was hit with a returning creepy feeling for half of the break, and a new hairstylist cut my hair too short and made it asymmetrical. My break could have gone so much easier. 

Also, school's not easy for me. I'm not a failing student, but I'm also not a passing grade-A student. Okay, I might as well be a failing student. Last year I failed three classes and managed to get my GPA under 2.0 (Can we just blame this on the fact that my sanity and mental well-being was literally hanging on a thread?) 

At least this semester I managed to pass all my classes. (Four C's, Three A's. I did okay.) 

Back to my point, school is far from easy for me-- although it's not surprising considering I'm horrible at studying, never read books given to me, and hate math equations with a burning passion-- and with the combination of annoying people around me, the lack of great friends, and the constant scratching of panic attacks and depression trying to tear its way through me, it would make sense why I don't like school. And yet, I still have to be forced to get out of my warm, comfortable bed in the morning and head to a horrible building five days a week.

After a long break, I returned to new classes, new teachers, more homework, and a horrible dread constantly weighing me down. 

I wonder how many lovely readers feel the same way? School isn't fun for many of us. It may have it's moments but mostly it's just pain and sorry for many of us. Making it through even just one horrible day can be a miracle and a perfect excuse to celebrate with ice cream and chocolate. 

I know this new semester will cause many more worries and stress than school ever should, and starting the new semester will feel strange and new. It's okay to not be excited and uncomfortable with the new changes. 

But remember that everything will be okay. The uncomfortable feeling of dread will disappear and school with become a routine again. Everything will continue to go by smoothly and before we know it, summer will be back.

That almost sounds horrible when you think about it. Some of us will be getting used to the pain and uncomfortable feelings. The stress and worry will still be there but we'll get into a rut and just view it as another part of the day.

Is that what school teaches us? To get used to pain?

What a horrible thought.

A thought that should be brought up for another day. 

Right now, let's grab some ice cream or pizza or candy, snuggle under our blankets, turn on a movie, and congratulate ourselves for making it through another day.

You did great today and you'll do just as great tomorrow.

-- Amber.