Let Me Be the Bad Guy

Let me be the bad guy.

I will be more than happy to be the one to wreck havoc on the city. I'll fight for evil and try to rid all the good from the world. I'll build death rays and make plans to destroy and rule the world. I will tease and torture people. I'll steal candy from babies, have a torture dungeon in my basement, and hurt the innocent without an ounce of guilt.

I don't want you to regret what you did because I was good to you. Stop thinking of me being nice girl you hurt. I keep reminding you of what you did, I keep making you feel guilty. Don't trust me. Don't care for me. I hurt you and I continue to do so by separating myself from you. Think of me as an evil demon, scrolling through the woods and killing all the goodness I find.

Stop picturing me as a beautiful creature with love in my heart that you hurt. Let me be evil, a monster under your bed, feeding off innocent screams. Make me a monster in your mind. Think of me as juts that-- an evil villain who treated you as just another victim.

Don't be guilty because you hurt me. Be mad I made you feel guilty. Let all of this be my fault. I'm more than happy to take the blame.

It won't be so bad being a villain. I can wear a cool cape and inventions. I can work in secrecy until I start to gain control. I can change the rules for the better. I can make the world a better, happier world.

Let me be the villain in your mind. You can be just another victim I hurt. You can be my enemy. You can be my friend who you have suspicions of. You can be anything you wish as long as you stop feeling guilty for hurting me.

I hurt you. I tried to make beauty ugly. I tried to hurt the good. I'm not forgiving, I'm not beautiful, I'm not someone you can feel guilty for hurting. I hurt you with no mercy and will do it again to every new beautiful person who enters my life.

That's what villains do.

-- Amber

Why A Bad Haircut can ruin more than just your day

I decided to get a few inches off my hair before the new school year started. I went into Supercuts, asked the hairdresser I have never used before to cut my hair about two inches below my shoulders and cut my layers short with them. Nothing too drastic.

Instead of that, one side rested right on my shoulder while the other was an inch higher.  All my layers were gone. Apparently, she thought I meant to cut my hair as short as my layers. Now, my neck always cold when I'm outside, my hair tickles my neck, and everything is too short. I can't even wear a ponytail anymore.

The day after I had my hair cut, I went to a different place and had it cut by someone who knew what she was doing. My hair is still too short and I still hate it, but at least it's not uneven anymore.

Whenever someone says they like my haircut, I say thanks and tell them the hairdresser messed up. If I say I don't like it, people try to reassure me that it looks great and that I really pull it off. Every time I see someone complain about their hair, people always tell them to shut up and that they look great.

"You're hair looks cute with that hair cut."
"You're friends aren't going to hate you now that it's short."
"It'll grow back eventually, don't worry."
"I couldn't ever pull that off. You look so good with it."

SHUT UP
Alright?
Just be quiet and listen to me.

I really don't care if someone thinks I look good with my hair shorter. I don't care if anyone thinks it looks good. I don't care what anyone thinks about my new haircut because I don't like it at all.

When I groan and complain about my hair, I do not want anyone to give me compliments. I don't want to hear about how it looks great. Saying I look good with it won't make it grow faster. When I cry about my haircut, I would be more than okay with people agreeing it looks bad and maybe give me advice on how to style it or where to buy some good cheap extensions. 

A haircut is supposed to keep your hair healthy and make you feel confident about yourself. when you have a bad haircut, all the confidence is swept away with your hair. A nice hairstyle is one of the easiest and simplest ways to make you feel more confident about your body. 

Compliments are great, yes. But when someone is clearly upset about their hair, saying it looks nice won't change how they feel. Sometimes just bringing up their haircut can continue to lower their self esteem. 

 -- Amber.