Purge

I wish I could just purge.

Just open my mouth and let everything spill out of me.

Because right now, I feel so full, and it's not of good stuff. There's too much stress, anger, love, guilt, fear, and everything in between inside. I just want it all gone. So I could stop this shaking and stop itching my skin and stop wishing for a better tomorrow and an emptier body.

A few months ago, all I wanted was to be full. But now I realize being full hurts. I'm full off too much feeling and emotions, some good some bad. What am I supposed to do with love that isn't returned? With fear that won't go away?

The feelings and words I want to drip out one at a time will never have the chance to. She won't listen to me. He won't stop lurking in the dark. They won't stop laughing-- they won't stop cheering-- they won't stop sharing-- they won't stop joking-- they won't fucking stop.

I just want them to stop.

I want it to stop.

I constantly feel sick. I'm always shaking and stressing and want to just rip open my skin and purge and let every word they won't let me say and every feeling they won't let me stop feeling be free.

I feel so full. Full of stress and guilt and anger and fear and love.

And I hate it so much.